Your In-Laws Stayed Over

You love your in-laws. They are your family. Still, when they come over on short notice you always feel unprepared.

 

We’re not pointing any fingers but you may have thought one of the following things while you were smiling, listening to the story they tell every year, or cooking a meal you know they’ll hardly touch.

 

1. How long are they staying?: He said they were just staying the weekend but that never happens. It’s always so much longer… At least it feels that way. Maybe I’ll fake sick Sunday afternoon to make sure they leave on time. Yes, that’s it! I’ll watch that Ferris movie to plan my strategy.

 

2. Anything that can go wrong, will: That is just my luck, isn’t it? Either the kids will get sick, someone will have to work later than usual, the house will flood, or the world will end. Nothing can go right if the in-laws are here, that is just not how life works. They call that Murphy’s Law; I call it Murphy’s In-Laws.

 

3. Cooking Criticism: Last time I slaved in the kitchen, “the chicken was overcooked and the pasta was undercooked.” I’m sure someone will have something to say this time, too. I think the cooking powers-that-be curse me when my in-laws are here.

 

4. Clean, Clean, Clean: I wonder, if I had hired a cleaning service to come in and take over the house, would it have been noticeable? The house would be cleaner than usual so they might suspect something. That might open a whole other can of worms, so maybe I’ll just clean myself. If only I had a bunch of birds following me along cleaning, like a certain princess who lost her shoe. I wonder what the prince’s in-laws were like. They probably lovedthe good lady’s chicken.

 

5. Wine, Wine, and More Wine: I should probably run to the liquor store and pick something up… for them, not for me. I swear, these six bottles of wine are for my in-laws, not for me. I swear, I’m opening the first of them right now even though they don’t arrive until this weekend FOR THEM, NOT FOR ME.

 

6. Where are those gifts?: I know I put that ceramic elephant they got us for Christmas three years ago in the attic, but which box is it in? I thought I wrote it down the last time they visited so this wouldn’t happen again. Ok, now let me practice my “I love it and look at it every day” face.

 

7. Please don’t bring that up: I know that his/her ex still lives down the block from you. No, I do not want to hear about their new job and how they look better than ever. Please just don’t bring it up, please.

 

8. Good attitude: Lots of smiles and a clear head. If I remember to be nice, all will go well — hopefully. After all, in-laws can smell fear.

 

You finally understand the line, “to have and to hold you, to honor you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life (Traditional Wedding Vows).” Even this weekend.